PRACTICE AREAS
The most important thing you’ll leave behind isn’t money — it’s your story.
Your estate plan handles the practical details. An ethical will carries everything else: the wisdom you’ve gathered, the values you’ve lived, and the words your family will treasure most.
By the time we come to realize that the years ahead are far fewer than the years we have already lived, we confront the discouraging truth that, unless we do something about it, all that hard-won wisdom will disappear with us when we die.
Rabbi Kushner is right. Every person carries a lifetime of lessons, values, relationships, and hard-won wisdom — and almost none of it is captured in a Will or a Trust. An ethical will is how you change that.
THE BASICS
What is an ethical will?
An ethical will — sometimes called a legacy letter — is not a legal document. It has no binding authority, no notarization requirement, and nothing to do with who receives your assets. What it does is something more personal, and many would say more important.
An ethical will is a written record of the things that defined you:
Your deepest values and beliefs
The life lessons you most want to pass on
The stories behind your most important decisions
Your hopes for the people you love
Your faith, your philosophy, and the things that gave your life meaning
It is a love letter from you — written now, to be received later — that gives your family not just what you owned, but who you were. For many families, it becomes the most treasured document in the entire estate plan.
WHY IT MATTERS
The part of your legacy no legal document can hold.
A well-crafted estate plan gives your family clarity about your assets, your wishes, and your intentions. But the legal documents only tell part of the story. An ethical will tells the rest.
Much as a Last Will and Testament passes on your money and possessions, an ethical will passes on your deepest values, beliefs, and life lessons — the things no legal document can capture. Because of their emotional and often spiritual nature, we find they are among the most meaningful parts of any estate plan, both for the person who writes one and the family who receives it.
In fact, we believe in them so strongly that we consider an ethical will a cornerstone of every Relational Estate Plan.
WHY IT MATTERS
What your family receives when you leave an ethical will.
Grief is disorienting. When someone passes, families are left not only with loss, but with questions that can no longer be answered. An ethical will changes that.
When your family gathers after your passing, your ethical will gives them something rare: your voice, your perspective, and your love — in your own words, in a form they can return to again and again.
We have seen ethical wills comfort grieving families, resolve long-standing misunderstandings, and strengthen relationships across generations. They are not just documents. They are gifts — and unlike most gifts, they only grow in value with time.
FINDING YOUR WORDS
How do I create an ethical will?
There is no single right way — and that’s part of what makes them so personal. An ethical will can take many forms:
A handwritten or typed letter to your children, grandchildren, or loved ones
A recorded video or audio message
A structured document organized around your values and life chapters
A collection of stories, memories, and reflections gathered over time
Whatever form you choose, we walk alongside you — with gentle prompts and a simple framework to help you find your words, even if writing doesn’t come naturally.
We introduce you to the idea.
As part of your estate planning process, we share what an ethical will is, why it matters, and how it can become one of the most meaningful things you leave behind.
We give you a place to begin.
Guided prompts and a simple framework, so you're never facing a blank page.
You write, or record, in your own words.
In whatever form feels right to you.
We leave room for it in your plan.
When you complete your estate plan, your binder includes a dedicated place for your ethical will — so it stays with your documents and is ready for the people you love when the time comes.
We’ve seen ethical wills that are a single paragraph and others that run for pages. What matters isn’t the length — it’s the intention behind it.
FROM REAL FAMILIES
See what an ethical will looks like, in real families’ own words.
One of the best ways to understand the power of an ethical will is to read one. Below are examples from real people — different in age, background, and circumstance — who chose to leave this kind of legacy. Some are short. Some are deeply personal. All of them are moving. Perhaps one will inspire you to begin your own.
My Grandmother’s Recipe and Your Ethical Will
If you’re ready to start working on your ethical will, here’s an article to know and learn more about ethical will.
Parents, Here’s The Inheritance Your Children Really Need
I advocate for a way of estate planning that starts with your closest relationships instead of starting with your assets.
Example of An Ethical Will: Peter’s Statement of Faith
Peter’s Ethical Will is short but packed with importance. It’s familiar, as Statements of Faith are common, but is worded differently.
To Our Sons: Sam and Ellen’s Ethical Will
After providing for the boys’ physical wellbeing, Sam and Ellen wanted to care for their emotional and spiritual wellbeing. So they created an Ethical Will.
Our Friend, John: An Example Of An Ethical Will
Recently, we had a chance to meet a special man named John. He attended a speaking engagement where we discussed Relational Estate Planning and the value of Ethical Wills, and afterward told us that these ideas resonate deeply with him
Your Ethical Will: The Most Important Document in A Relational Estate Plan
What if we told you that the most important document in your relational estate plan is not legally binding and has nothing to with your money?
COMMON QUESTIONS
Common questions about ethical wills.
Does an ethical will have legal standing?
No. An ethical will is not a legal document. It does not affect how your assets are distributed and cannot override your legal Will or Trust. Its power is personal and relational, not legal.
When should I create an ethical will?
There is no wrong time, but the best time is while your thoughts are clear and your relationships are close. Many people create theirs as part of the estate planning process; others return to it over the years, adding reflections as life unfolds.
What if I don’t know where to start?
That’s exactly why we’re here. We provide guided prompts and a supportive process to help you find your words, even if you’ve never thought of yourself as a writer. Most clients are surprised by how much they have to say once they begin.
Can an ethical will be a video or audio message?
Yes. While many are written, there’s no required format. A recorded message can be a deeply personal way to leave your voice — literally — for the people you love.
Will my family actually read it?
In our experience, yes. The families we’ve seen receive ethical wills treasure them. For many, it becomes the most re-read document their loved one left behind.
YOUR FAMILY’S FUTURE
Let’s create a plan that gives your family clarity and peace of mind.
Whether you’re creating your first estate plan or updating an existing one, we’re here to help you take the next step with confidence.
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